Greetings church family!

It was one of my worst days as a father.

I came home from a long day of teaching high school math. I was exhausted. As I walked in the door, my wife (at the time) met me immediately. She tried her hardest to get my attention. She said, “Chris, Miles (my 4-year old son at the time) made something …….”  The rest of the sentence went undetected by me because I was distracted by an annoying sight. Near the lower corner of one of the walls in the living room was a permanent marker drawing.

I immediately asked in a stern voice, “Who used permanent marker on the wall?” My son Miles, who had just ran from his room to meet me at the door, suddenly stopped in his tracks. His excitement turned to fear. “I did,’ he said very weakly. At that point, I asked Miles to hold out his hand. After he obeyed, I spanked his hand 3 times and scolded him about why it is not good to draw on the walls with permanent marker. Miles began sobbing and ran away to his room.

As I stood up from that interaction, my wife looked at me quite sternly. “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”  

“What do you mean?” I replied.

“I was trying to tell you that Miles made something for you. He spent hours creating the artwork on the wall, and he couldn’t wait for you to come home so he could show you what he made for you.” When I stopped to really look at the drawing, I realized it was a drawing of me teaching students in a classroom.

I wanted to run and hide. I felt like the worst father ever in the history of bad fathers. My son spent a big part of his day preparing something special for me, and all I saw was several hours on a Sunday having to repaint my living room walls. He got the spanking, but I was the one who deserved it.

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and sin not.”  Anger is not the issue many times as much as HOW we deal with our anger. How do we go from being angry but refraining from reacting in an angry way? James 1:19-20 provides some valuable wisdom here. It says, “My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.”  

O how that situation would have turned out for the better if I had taken what I’ve heard called a holy pause. This is a quick break from a reactive emotional response to focus energy on truly listening and gaining full understanding of the situation. The holy pause would have allowed me to deal with the issue with calmness, wisdom, and compassion rather than regretful actions stemming from impulse and thoughtlessness due to anger.  

Church family, if you find yourself reacting in anger on a consistent basis, the One who is slow to anger (Psalm 145:8-9) can empower you to do the same!

May you always remember, God is for you, God is with you, and God loves you!

Pastor Chris